u're the first and last for me,,it's past

I do not know with me today. With the current pattern of thought. About my heart in this time. About my soul, and about my feelings today. He was the first person who taught me to have people I love. Yes, I love him, and he became mine. But it’s past. Now, has changed. Since the stipulation he be mine, and over time my relationship with him, I felt comfortable, and almost 3 years I enjoyed it. Along the way, I really hope, pray, and promised myself. 'I want you to be the first and last time for me' yeah, what a really so sweet I am .. ^ ^

Yes, I'm saying is sincere, conscious, and from the heart. And I told him. He also knows and salute me. My thought only one,, Look :  I've a good relationship with him, I've not a child again, I knew his family, I knew him from a good family, my family also knew him, (even if only just know if he was my friend), he people who are good and clever, broad perspective. So, what if my relationship is just playing (and I never, even if once, think wanna ‘play’ in a relationship, (with anyone that). So, I think to the future, hopely, He would be my King, who will accompany me later in a cool roof, smooth sailing ship, a priest in the family and became the father of my children later. It is very heavy for my hopes for him, but, that's me. Somehow I be so sure looked forward to it, not just hope, but for the continuation of my future someday.

However, the most important thing that allowed me to put great hopes in it is, 'reading the Qur'an he was so good, and he understood about religion and do not smoke'. That really made me surrender. My sense, today's hard to find for men who like it. Yes, maybe many it’s too much, but if we don’t mathc each other, it’s too hard. Well, I've matched him,and don’t looking for someone else.

 
BUT… the reality is not always as beautiful with hope. hikshikshiks

I know I was wrong. I know that regret is always coming in late. I know I'm not perfect. I know I'm not one to adult. But, should you not do like that this soon. You do not appreciate our journey for 3 years, comfortable with each other, and know their goodness and badness each other.

I never thought this would happen. I never thought you decide things very quickly. I never thought of this attitude. I never thought you were so easy to love someone else. I never thought you were so easy to say 'please allow me to love others. " I think, as a good man, won’t say like that, especially in people who loved him and he loved. It’s really really sick. I never thought and never expected.

Hey! I am a woman, the woman who always uses feelings than logic. Why could you really say just as it was?  

*I'm sorry if my english so bad.. :p